September 2008
wtf, best conversation ever
Megazord: I've just been invited to play shows with Aria C Jalali
Megazord: :S
Tom: I do not know who that is
Megazord: I think he's a friend of Greg's who's kinda big
Tom: so then, this is a good thing
Megazord: Greg knows a lot of important people
Tom: I wish I knew important people.
Tom: or
Megazord: important people knew you
Tom: yeah
Megazord: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aria_C_Jalali
Megazord: he sent me his EP which I'm going to review
Megazord: and then he was like, I like yr chunes
Megazord: so now we're talking about playing together
Megazord: thanks myspace
Tom: he just randomly sent you his own ep?
Megazord: no like
Megazord: he said "who wants to review my new ep, I'll send you an advance copy"
Megazord: so I'm in newspaper so I would
Megazord: and then I really liked it and told him that
Megazord: and now it's like we're dating
Tom: wow...that's great. congrats. I'm still lonely and wanting to die
Tom: in other words
Megazord: TOM YOU SHOULD JOIN MEGAZORD
Tom: I don't even know
Tom: why
Tom: I should
Megazord: TOUR THE WEST COAST
Megazord: NOT BE LONELY AND WANTING TO DIE
Megazord: MEET COOL PEOPLE
Tom: I don't have any music to play
Megazord: SMOKE TREES
Megazord: maybe not the last one
Megazord: I wasn't sure if you were into that
Megazord: you can be my percussionist
Megazord: or my personal dj
Megazord: spin those tunes dj tom
Megazord: I just wnat to help
Megazord: I'm here to help
Tom: send me a female clone of myself...I've basically boiled down that the perfect woman for me is either my ex girlfriend or a female version of myself, except white.
Tom: and busty
Megazord: I know some people in the industry
Megazord: I'll call them up Tom
Megazord: remember when Oprah brought those people who could show her what she would look like if she were white?
Megazord: my friends dad owns the company
Megazord: I'll get right on it tom
Megazord: ok I'm lying
Megazord: I'm not sure if you coudl tell
Megazord: but lies make things better, right?
Tom: I wish
Megazord: at least until you find out they're lies
Tom: I'm too skeptical to even believe in the truth
Tom: much less lies
Megazord: don't trust shit
Megazord: I don'
Megazord: t
Megazord: I don't like putting my fate in the hands of other people
Tom: yeah, but that's basically what has lead me to this state of unhappiness
Megazord: hmmmmmm
Megazord: you need to find somthing to do
Megazord: something that will help you meet new people
Megazord: like a new hobby
Megazord: like knitting or bowling or something
Megazord: not kidding about this
Megazord: it will get you in a new environment
Megazord: and you might be happier and meet newer people
Tom: yeah
Tom: but I'm already skeptical. I just assume that everyone I meet is a complete dumbass with no original thought and is as deep as the sole of their shoe.
Megazord: well that's easy to believe since a lot of people are like that
Megazord: but I think that too and that's why I haven't gotten with anyone
Megazord: I'm skeptical as fuck and don't trust shit
Megazord: so you have to put that aside and see if you can meet someone
Megazord: if it doesn't work out
Megazord: then at least you learned how to knit or bowl
Tom: I already know how to do those things.
Megazord: you do :(????
Tom: yeah. I was in a bowling league for three years
Tom: and my grandma taught me how to knit.
Megazord: :O
Megazord: I wish I knew how to do either of those things
Megazord: become an alcoholic
Tom: I hate the taste of alcohol.
Megazord: meet some hot girls at alocholics anonymous
Megazord: ok maybe that was a joke
Megazord: a bad one
Tom: those kind of women are shallow sluts.
Megazord: they're probably meth heads as well
Tom: I think all women are basically shallow sluts.
Tom: except for the ugly ones, they're just desperate
Megazord: you can say that to about 99% of them
Megazord: yeah
Megazord: that's like 98% of the shallow sluts
Tom: my ex-girlfriend was like the sliver .01% that wasn't a shallow slut, but wasn't ugly as fuck.
Megazord: fuck
Megazord: why did you guys split
Tom: well, we had an unstable relationship because of me and my goddamn trust issues
Tom: we've broken up like 6+ times
Megazord: oh man
Tom: in the course of two or three years
Megazord: those relationships can be kinda forced
Megazord: if you go through that many breakups and get togethers
Tom: yeah, I don't know.
Tom: anyway, she and I are meeting tomorrow for the last time, maybe ever.
Tom: I think I'll raep her
Megazord: good call
Megazord: how are you thinking about doing it
Megazord: ghb?
Tom: ?
Megazord: because I think you can go buy some aquadots
Megazord: ghb is the daterape drug tom
Megazord: don't be coy
Tom: lol
Tom: fuck no
Tom: no drugs man. i want her awake and aware and full of terror ;)
Tom: that's my catch line
Megazord: aquadots were the chidlrens toy that were made with ghb because the chinese ran out of materials so the children swallowed them and passsed out and threw them up
Megazord: well it's a good line to live by
Megazord: are you thinking like bondage
Tom: well.
Megazord: like Cannibal Holocaust
Tom: oh god
Tom: that film
Megazord: the last scene
Megazord: with the white girl
Megazord: I love how they resort to beating everyone with rocks
Tom: god, i don't think i could do anything as terrible as what was depicted in that film
Megazord: lololololol
Megazord: that film was ridiculous
Megazord: did you ever watch Gay niggers from outer space?
Megazord: sounds like a greg movie
Megazord: but it's real
Tom: dude, we're on a tangent. I want to talk to you about raeping
Megazord: ok
Megazord: RÆP
Megazord: GET IN ON
Tom: well, I was thinking about tying her down, stuff her mouth with her panties AND cumming inside her and maybe jamming a candlestick up her asshole.
Megazord: so no pooping on her chest?
Megazord: because that's a whole nother level
Tom: I was thinking maybe smearing her face with shit instead of her chest
Megazord: does she have any pets?
Tom: no
Tom: no turtles
Megazord: oh because I was going to suggest raping the pets in front of her
Tom: I was thinking, maybe, peeing in her ear
Megazord: GET HER A CAT TOMORROW
Megazord: and rape it when you rape her
Megazord: pee in her hair
Megazord: no wait
Megazord: pee on her face
Megazord: shit in her hair
Megazord: and rub it all in
Megazord: won't be able to get that smell out for years
Tom: hehe
Tom: I want to pee up her nose
Megazord: ewwww
Megazord: that's just gross
Megazord: that's like
Megazord: waterboarding
Megazord: bro
Megazord: not cool
Tom: so it drips down her throat
Megazord: JUST PEE IN HER MOUTH THEN
Tom: no way
Tom: my way is way cooler
Megazord: o lawdz tom
Tom: besides, I've already raeped her
Megazord: am I going to see in the morning news how you were found doing this
Tom: no need to pussyfoot around it
Megazord: o lawdz
Tom: yes
Tom: I will make headlines
Megazord: will you kill her and then perform harakiri?
Tom: fuck no
Megazord: aw man
Tom: she'll have to live with the psychological suffering for the rest of her life
Megazord: usually the peope at the top stop before they turn to shit
Tom: and I'll enjoy the rest of my life
Megazord: oh ok
Megazord: o my tom
Megazord: is 4chan your homepage by any chance?
Tom: 4chan is too conservative
Megazord: O_O
Tom: all the good shit are on websites in japan and russia
Megazord: oh like 2ch?
Tom: oh christian, you're such a naive young man
Megazord: D:
Megazord: I'm afraid for my life now
Megazord: you probably know where I live
Megazord: you've probably gotten my IP
Megazord: you probably know my whole life story
Megazord: just don't DDoS me Tom
Megazord: plz
Tom: I've revealed too much already
Megazord: now you have to kill me don't you
Tom: I'll leave that up to MT
Megazord: wut
Megazord: is he in on this as well?
Tom: you may THINK that he's an innocent guy who loves cheesy indie-pop
Tom: but boy, sometimes, he puts my works of raep to shame
Megazord: LOL FUCK
Megazord: IS THAT WHY HE DOESN'T POST ANYMORE
Megazord: HE FOUND THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE ONLY TO GO TORTURE HER
Megazord: SNUFF FILMS
Megazord: ARE YOU INTO THAT SHIT TOM
Tom: well, I did write and direct 8MM 2
Megazord: alololololol
Tom: I'm just that evil
Megazord: or just that desparate
Megazord: GIVE IT UP TOP
Megazord: ITS THE POLICE
Megazord: we've got everything we need to throw yr ass in jail
Megazord: mr seim
Tom: I'm actually protected by international law. I'm not a citizen of the United States.
Megazord: oh you son of a bitch
Tom: :D
Megazord: this is just like lethal weapon 4
Tom: yes...how coincidental...
Megazord: oh no
Megazord: you don't mean
Tom: Yes, that's right
Tom: I wrote and directed lethal weapon 4
Megazord: FUCK
Megazord: well can you tell me if there will be a LW5?
Megazord: I've really been wanting to see a new one
Tom: I'm leaving that one up to Dean
Tom: that's his favorite movie series
Megazord: DEAN IS ON THIS TOO?
Megazord: don't even tell me Jessi is involved
Tom: not really
Tom: she's like Neo...she weaves in and out of reality
Megazord: oh my
Megazord: how far down the rabbit hole have I gon
Megazord: e
Tom: not far enough my friend, not far enough. But alas, I must disappear. Goodbye
Megazord: so many questions I have
Tom: next time.
Q: WHO MIGHT BE OPENING FOR ARIA C. JALALI THIS DECEMBER???? A: ME R: WUTTTTTTTTTTTT
August 2008
Max Tundra - Will Get Fooled Again
Jesus this man...
“If you’re in the mood for Astral Projection then it’s your lucky day!”
– What Is Your Single Biggest Question About Astral Projection? (via popmechanic)
Hahahaha
Gary Wilson - Gary’s in the Park
probably...
I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL CHRISTMAS
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
I LOVE TO SPARKLE
“I have the hiccups and I want to take a bubble bath, so let’s make this snappy.”
– ME (via smallz)
“Hodge-podge fuck shit I have a text”
– Molly being interviewed
“How many orphans have you saved today? None, so I don’t give shit”
– Molly telling me how Doritos save orphans
“DON’T GIVE A FUCK”
7:38AM8/16/2008
OK so
on thursday I headed over to Buff Castle to do some shit I needed to do
I
returned a shirt which was too small and gave him another one that he could screenprint on, so I hope that turns out amazing (I’m sure it will)
got a CD burnt of Fired Down! which is rave music slowed down and super crazy
I bought the new Stag Hare album Black Medicine Magic which has to be close to the...
NEW YACHT EP
DATS RITE INNERNETTE
NEW YACHT EP
OFF DFA?!?!?!
ITZ TRU
WUT U SAY GURL
I SAY WUT I MEEN
AND I MEEN WUT I SAY
7:28PM8/13/08
WELL
as of late
I’ve been trying to put a show together for Magic Johnson/Don Hellion with little luck
Liz hasn’t called me back to tell me if it’s cool for them to play so I think i’m going to call her soon.
I’m waiting patiently for 0385204682467 things I’ve ordered and can’t wait here.
I’ve started waking up at 6 so I can get used to it
...
The next to last weekend of summer '08
smallz:
Christian called and talked about how fucking cool and badass he was smoking his dad’s cigar in the car as he got pizza, and I was totally and completely in awe.
AWESOME
COOL KIDZ THRAD
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9:45PM8/10/08
Yesterday…
I didn’t do anything until afternoon I believe
I told the internet about the quarter with a hole I got
then I put it in an envelope with some photos and the quarter and decorated it
then zac called back and said he’d be here in 10
and I was like nooooooooooo, come back in 30
and he was like 20
and I was like okkkkkkkk but i better do stuff fastttttt
then I took a...
YO, THIS WILL MATTER →
I just got this total wave of sadness. I had a really good day. I caught up with my BFF from kindergarten, gave Diego a haircut, cleaned the bathroom, and meditated with Aidan. But now I’m listening to Tom Waits and I just got a text from my ex boyfriend that just said, “I moved out.” I just got this utter sense that I’m losing contact with so many people that I care about so deeply. That is...
1:36AM8/3/08
Today
I listened to a bunch of E-603/White Fang
My Oktomat broke, but luckily I have the receipt so I can get money back instead of gross UO credit (I CANT BELIEVE I JUST ADMITTED THAT)
Sent in 2 more roles to get developed, I expect 4 within the next week
Am about to finish Native Son, these last 50 pages are retarded
I had a bean and shrimp burrito for breakfast
I didn’t have lunch
...
11:17AM8/1/08
I had a dream my worst enemy got fat, it was a loly dream from what I remember
